Sitting here in my bed not sleeping tonight I decided to write on my never used blog.
I know I could always lived with a damaged heart or slightly repaired heart but now I must also live with a broken heart. On Monday February 20th 2012 my wife and I's bundle of joy turned to sheer panic. Something was wrong and this time I wasn't the one that had to bare all the medical problems. My wife and I lost what could have been our first child. We were so wrapped up in the child dealing with marfans that we never throught about not having a child at all. If we had the child we could go to a Dr. and work with it however what do you do if you aren't even given the chance.
There will always be a part of my heart that that child should have held. It will be a part that no matter how advanced medicine gets they will never be able to replace what I have lost this day.
So for now I will continue to love the two children I have in this world (cockers) I will shower them with all the love I have till God blesses me with a child of my flesh and blood.
Sad day to be a mutant.
I love you. I hate this. I hate that we both have to be sad.
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